Greetings From Cleveburg
Amigos, Que tal? Well so much for Spanish one. This is a wonderful opportunity to share observations and expeiriences of ones travels throuhg the cosmos. I will figure out what one needs to do to go to the guay and will post it when I figure out how to do it. A chance to sharesome stories of everyday life. My first story will be about today's visit(in about an hour) to the colorectal doc. Just imagine the possiblities.......Oso blanco
posted by Oso blanco at 9:41 AM
13 Comments:
How the hell did it turn out for your colorecto? Inquiring minds would like to know...I wanta know, maybe.
If the experience involved rubber gloves and vaseline, I can see why the story may take some time to surface.
Well guys it went like this: I went to the doctors office and sat in the waiting room. The door opened and before stood one of the hottest nurses I have ever seen. Mr K please come in. She introduced herself as Renate. German I inquired. No she was Russian(sort of Asian looking like Lenin) but she had chi chis gigantes. She asked me why I was there and I proceeded to tell her about my bleeding rhoids. It was a wonder that my dick didn't get hard dwhile talking to her. Then Dr Wu came in. The last time I saw him was a couple of years ago when he was shoving a colonoscopy tupe up my ass. Strange dude he really likes assholes. Knowing that he got called to Iraq as a doctor, I asked him if he had "fun" there. Helooked at me like what is wrong with you dude. No I didn't have fun. But I knew he was going to have some.(I don't know if you have ever noticed the little step on the front of the examining table but thaat is where it all starts. He told me to kneel down on it. Yeah right! Kneel down like you are in church he said. I protested saying that I don't go to church. Kneel down. I did then he said drop your drawers and lean over the table and pretend that you are flying like superman. He proceeded to raise the table upu in the airso my ass was almost stickin in his face(imagine being lifted and rotated forwards 45 degrrees). Then I heard the snap of the rubber glove and felt his KY laden finger go up my ass all the way to his knuckle. He said that you are really tight back there and was unableto see anything. So he lowered the table and told me to put my pants back on. He couldn't take care of the rhoids I would have to come back and have the short scope and he would be able to see wht was going on. Most likely he would band a couple of the rhoids. They band em and then they wither away(sort of like the state withering away?) and you shit them out. What does this feel like? hetold me it feels like sitting on a bowel movement for 3 days. Sounds like fun. He said that the other alternative, sugery was not any fun. That feels like somebody stuck some razor blades up your ass, I MEAN RECTUM. He was reaaly impressed by how tight my asshole was. He said the grip was like a nutcracker on his finger. In the Guay they would probably say something like "Culo pico loro". I made an appointment for March 6. Renate came up to me and patted me on the back and asked me if I was ok. Yes I said and walked out. I could feel the cold dampness of the KY on my cheeks and underwear.
Wow man, thanks for sharing that experience. That was funnier than hell. Did you go for the Jim Beam and the stogie afterwards?
Mine was similar but different. I had a female doctor, and she used vasaline instead of ky. My rectal exam was for indigestion. I still don't know what she was looking for, but whatever it was, she didn't find it.
It's good to know what may be instore for us in the future. How does one get rhoids anyway?
Reading on the shitter for extended periods of time is thought to be one cause
Damn, I just got done doing that.
It's the only place in the house that you don't get bugged while reading. I guess bleeding rhoids is a small price to pay.
I liked your story's gradual intensity, how it kinda worked itself up to a real nice climax, and brillant falling action. Kinda made me want to smoke, but then again I just quit twenty days ago and just about everything makes me what to smoke.
Did you research how they do it in the Guay? Dr. Wu must be really good; they don't just let any asshole be a doctor in the military...or do they?
cuzED,
you mentioned that it may be, indeed, a small price to pay for the uninterrupted reading time that we cherish so much.
yes, agreed...
also, it can be seen as a bloody good "pro" for divorce...
No shit. Or for building a bunker.
Maybe you should put a shitter in that bunker. There's a reason why divorce isn't a four letter word.
putting a shitter in the bunker is seemingly redundant. if you have a bunker, you are securely locked in and free from interruptions. so, leaving the bunker to pinch a quick loaf is no prob. you will not be tempted to sit and read, as you can return to your reading/writing haven.
regarding divorce and four letter words...i agree, if it were only a four letter word, let's say DIVO just for fun...it would be like FUCK, versitile, but a bit ambiguou..you have got to, simply got to add three more letters to give it the strong meaning it carries..so DIVO becomes DIVORCE, as, FUCK becomes FUCKYOU.
man, i hope this bird flu thing is not creeping up on me....
No shitters in bunkers. Unless of course you have a state of the art hepa ventilation system.
Eloquently put pollo. A steady diet of vitamins and beer should hold off the bird flew, at least for awhile.
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