The Brothers J and Moco Joe
Yesterday was day eight of my ongoing battle with persistent cough, etc. I awoke to the sound of our maid doing the dishes around 8:30 am. I knew I had to leave or be shuffled around in my miserable, intolerant state, so I headed down to the Stone Arch, a comfortable cafe in downtown Minneapolis owned by the Brothers J, known in these parts as the band Best Fight Story.
The first thing I did when I arrived was lock my keys in the truck with my lights on. Upon this instant realization I uttered a Pollo "Phaaaaaack," and with nothing I could do headed into the cafe where I was warmly greeted by one of the Brothers J. He was very empathetic and gave me a cup of outstanding joe from the hills of Indonesia.
I called my wife who had the extra key, but she was tied up in meetings for at least the next three hours, so I knew I was going to need more help. This is where Cuz Ed came into the picture. As usual, it was Cuz Ed to the rescue. He came down and gave me moral support.
Eventually my wife showed up with the key, and of course the battery was dead by then. Fortunately some dude named Dan came on the scene with some jumper cables and great intentions, but unfortunately the great intentions fell short as he was unable to jump the truck successfully.
A cloud fell over the Stone Arch at that point as the Brothers J were sure that if Big Dan couldn't jump the truck, there were more serious implications. However, I was not convinced.
Then Cuz Ed suggested that I give him a ride to his meeting and take his truck to buy jumper cables and go back to jump my truck myself, which I did successfully. The Brothers J were surprisingly not that surprised and seemed to rejoice in the fact that they now had something to give Big Dan shit about.
I went to pick Cuz Ed up with his truck, we drove back to my truck, but I felt I owed Cuz Ed for driving his gas guzzler all over hell. So I offered to buy him some drinks at the nearby Terminal bar. Of course Cuz Ed did not decline.
After a half hour of drinks and 70's game shows, we finally parted, and I went home and promptly passed out.
Upon awaking, I could not help but notice that I could not stop coughing. Moco Joe had mocos streaming from his nostrils and kept looking at me helplessly, until finally my wife came to the rescue for the second time in one day. She insisted that I go another round with the doctors. Since I couldn't stop coughing, I thought it just might work.
This time I went in with determination to not suppress my monkey, and to not leave without the "good stuff."
This time I got a male doctor, which for some reason I thought to be a good sign. I also mentioned that I was a teacher, which seemed to get me instant special treatment. Then the time for the scripts came and it was the usual plain old cough medicine. That is when I let Moco Joe out of the bag. He sprung on the doc immediately demanding something with codeine. Of course the doc mentioned the robitussen with codeine, but this was not good enough for moco joe this time. This time moco joe demanded satisfaction. So the doc went out for a special book to see if he could find anything that had pure codeine in it. As the doc was looking through is stupid book, Moco Joe let out a cough that sounded like Tussenex, to which the doc responded, "oh yeah, tussenex, that otta do the job."
I was amazed at how easy that was. Apparently all I had to do was tell the doc what to give me. Then the doc said that when he gets teachers in there, he doesn't mess around. He just gives them the good meds and sends them on their way. Good to know for future reference.
Analysis:
Days of illness cause brain damage.
Never go to the doc without moco joe.
Keep buying Cuz Ed cocktails.
Hang out more often with Brothers J.
Give wife the sex she deserves for saving me twice in the same day and not demanding sex in return.
The first thing I did when I arrived was lock my keys in the truck with my lights on. Upon this instant realization I uttered a Pollo "Phaaaaaack," and with nothing I could do headed into the cafe where I was warmly greeted by one of the Brothers J. He was very empathetic and gave me a cup of outstanding joe from the hills of Indonesia.
I called my wife who had the extra key, but she was tied up in meetings for at least the next three hours, so I knew I was going to need more help. This is where Cuz Ed came into the picture. As usual, it was Cuz Ed to the rescue. He came down and gave me moral support.
Eventually my wife showed up with the key, and of course the battery was dead by then. Fortunately some dude named Dan came on the scene with some jumper cables and great intentions, but unfortunately the great intentions fell short as he was unable to jump the truck successfully.
A cloud fell over the Stone Arch at that point as the Brothers J were sure that if Big Dan couldn't jump the truck, there were more serious implications. However, I was not convinced.
Then Cuz Ed suggested that I give him a ride to his meeting and take his truck to buy jumper cables and go back to jump my truck myself, which I did successfully. The Brothers J were surprisingly not that surprised and seemed to rejoice in the fact that they now had something to give Big Dan shit about.
I went to pick Cuz Ed up with his truck, we drove back to my truck, but I felt I owed Cuz Ed for driving his gas guzzler all over hell. So I offered to buy him some drinks at the nearby Terminal bar. Of course Cuz Ed did not decline.
After a half hour of drinks and 70's game shows, we finally parted, and I went home and promptly passed out.
Upon awaking, I could not help but notice that I could not stop coughing. Moco Joe had mocos streaming from his nostrils and kept looking at me helplessly, until finally my wife came to the rescue for the second time in one day. She insisted that I go another round with the doctors. Since I couldn't stop coughing, I thought it just might work.
This time I went in with determination to not suppress my monkey, and to not leave without the "good stuff."
This time I got a male doctor, which for some reason I thought to be a good sign. I also mentioned that I was a teacher, which seemed to get me instant special treatment. Then the time for the scripts came and it was the usual plain old cough medicine. That is when I let Moco Joe out of the bag. He sprung on the doc immediately demanding something with codeine. Of course the doc mentioned the robitussen with codeine, but this was not good enough for moco joe this time. This time moco joe demanded satisfaction. So the doc went out for a special book to see if he could find anything that had pure codeine in it. As the doc was looking through is stupid book, Moco Joe let out a cough that sounded like Tussenex, to which the doc responded, "oh yeah, tussenex, that otta do the job."
I was amazed at how easy that was. Apparently all I had to do was tell the doc what to give me. Then the doc said that when he gets teachers in there, he doesn't mess around. He just gives them the good meds and sends them on their way. Good to know for future reference.
Analysis:
Days of illness cause brain damage.
Never go to the doc without moco joe.
Keep buying Cuz Ed cocktails.
Hang out more often with Brothers J.
Give wife the sex she deserves for saving me twice in the same day and not demanding sex in return.
posted by Iceman at 8:43 AM
12 Comments:
I like the sex part.
Oh yeah, and the free cocktails too!
You just keep you love in that barrel Cuz Ed, and I'll keep another barrel of whiskey for you.
good thing you have a new bottle of tussinex, for you will need it for the sex part of your analysis
and, cuzEd, which part of the sex part do you like????? i couldn't get past the wife part..or maybe that is it..Whose wife were you thinking about?
I was thinking about the "sex" part, what has a wife with that? When wife and sex merge she ain't my wife. Sometimes two wives do the trick.
What is sex? On locking your keys in the truck, you need to have a slimjim stashed in your truck somewhere. Get fucked up and lock the door and practice opening it . When the real deal happens you will be ready. Lets talk medicine. The only way to cure that cough is to smoke it out. My buddy Bob always recommended a big fat stogie and some Jim Beam.
Drink the whole bottle of tussinex at once
Oso Blanco, you sound sufficiently hardcore. I think you would have fit into the average dude reunion in PR quite well. Will you be joining us on the Guay in July reunion tour?
Hitting the guay in April for some Pantanal fishing. Please remember that I am pollo's older brother and I accidentally mave have influenced his formative years and we ain't talking wonder bread either.
So was it you who turned him into a chicken?
iceman,
how the fuck did the same parents create a goddamned chicken and a white assed bear?
Damn good question, maybe we should ask the iceman on your parents' block.
ok man,
last night i was poolside contemplating the biological brotherhood of a Pollo and an Oso Blanco, attempting to determine how it came to be....all i could do was laugh at the whole discussion of Nature versus Nurture and chalk the divergence up to conditioning...
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