2007 Sitch Point Awards
Well dudes its time for the annual sitch point assements and rewards. From Oso's point of view it has been a minamalist type of year. Acouple points here, bumping your brand new truck into another in the quest to not violate the local parking regs. Maybe a couple of other points for things that are not remembered. Does one have to be concious to receive points, nope(last years gin soaked xmas fiasco iis testament to that). Perhaps the laargest number of points that I could be awarded would be for a very strange and somewhat disturbing rash/infection that I encountered in the Guay. Details can be obtained by directly talking to Oso(Ed I didn't want to gross you out with the details). SO at the end of the year I'd say about negative 1000 points for me.
I have observed some very sitchy sitches that merit attention. Pehaps the most fucked up one is of a relative(who will remain unnamed). Several sitches. One is the septic tank and toilet paper sitch. The guy(a dude would never do this) managed to completely stuff his septic tank with tp. How you ask. By using 6 rolls of paper per shit! Its an Obsessive Compulsive sitch. While we were staying at his house for the New Years holiday (4 nights) we couldn't use the toilet. So it was down to the McDonalds for a Egg McMuffin and a dump. What the fuck! Points awarded -10000 for him and another-1000 for me having been stupied enough to stay there.
The guys other sitch is that he refuses to work and has no income and still manages to drink a 12 pack or so each night. I just don''t know anyway another 5000 points.
Perhaps another fairly extreme sitch is that of a good friend of mine. He was helping me do my kitchen and his wife(actually mother of his child) was at his mom's house for a few days. She called over 20 times one day but the cell phone was left at home so no answer. He got home around midnight . The door burst open and the woman walked in(after driving 60 miles in very bad weather) and yelled at him demanding to know where the bitch he(in her mind) was fucking was. He looked at her with a wtf type attitude and said he was getting ready to crash after a hard days work. She stormed out of the house and drove the 60 miles back to moms in laws.
How many points? Id say about 5000.
So dudes its time to look back and assess the year from a sitch point of view. Ice has the will to do nothing and truck heater sitch. Katweazel has a turkey sitch. Pollo is in the midst of the 2 year continuing sitch. I don't know of any specific sitch that Ed is in but I am sure there is one.
Seeing that I am going to the Guay in a couple of weeks there will be a fresh supply of McPussy pads and possibly other Mcpussy cleaning products to be awarded. perhaps the award ceremony will take place at Upper Red Lake.
So don't be shy. Put your nominations in now. The dudes in Switzerland are waiting to make the call!
Yes, shitting your pants does qualify for points!
I have observed some very sitchy sitches that merit attention. Pehaps the most fucked up one is of a relative(who will remain unnamed). Several sitches. One is the septic tank and toilet paper sitch. The guy(a dude would never do this) managed to completely stuff his septic tank with tp. How you ask. By using 6 rolls of paper per shit! Its an Obsessive Compulsive sitch. While we were staying at his house for the New Years holiday (4 nights) we couldn't use the toilet. So it was down to the McDonalds for a Egg McMuffin and a dump. What the fuck! Points awarded -10000 for him and another-1000 for me having been stupied enough to stay there.
The guys other sitch is that he refuses to work and has no income and still manages to drink a 12 pack or so each night. I just don''t know anyway another 5000 points.
Perhaps another fairly extreme sitch is that of a good friend of mine. He was helping me do my kitchen and his wife(actually mother of his child) was at his mom's house for a few days. She called over 20 times one day but the cell phone was left at home so no answer. He got home around midnight . The door burst open and the woman walked in(after driving 60 miles in very bad weather) and yelled at him demanding to know where the bitch he(in her mind) was fucking was. He looked at her with a wtf type attitude and said he was getting ready to crash after a hard days work. She stormed out of the house and drove the 60 miles back to moms in laws.
How many points? Id say about 5000.
So dudes its time to look back and assess the year from a sitch point of view. Ice has the will to do nothing and truck heater sitch. Katweazel has a turkey sitch. Pollo is in the midst of the 2 year continuing sitch. I don't know of any specific sitch that Ed is in but I am sure there is one.
Seeing that I am going to the Guay in a couple of weeks there will be a fresh supply of McPussy pads and possibly other Mcpussy cleaning products to be awarded. perhaps the award ceremony will take place at Upper Red Lake.
So don't be shy. Put your nominations in now. The dudes in Switzerland are waiting to make the call!
Yes, shitting your pants does qualify for points!
posted by Oso blanco at 6:11 AM
10 Comments:
this year has been a might challenging from the financial perspective as ice an i have been wont to ponder upon a time or two but what is an average dude to do when it comes time to assessing one's own sitch? seems damn near impossible to assign oneself sitch points when beer is still legal and there is an outside chance that a guy can get laid once or twice throughout the year. really, i'm just thankful that fucking year is over and maybe this one will be better than the last. 6000 sitch points to ed for just being alive.
let's go from there...
relative to last year, my Sitch is less sitchy...i'll claim a few points from my Rio trip, but Iceman can claim a couple of more...
and, as ultimately we only can assess our own sitches, i can't claim many points.
however, 2008 is warming up. i claim 10000 points for an unsolicited dog bite.
Well... Thanks for giving us a frame of ref. on the sitch points Oso.
I know that the local hard rock station is throwing a "Make 2007 your bitch" bash. You may want to attend cuz ed.
As for sitch points for the year 2007...
Furnace breakdown on the first cold day of the winter,3000 sitch points.
Wife smashed leased vehicle AGAIN. 500 sitch points.
Accountant is holding my docs and refuses to do my taxes or give my back my docs, 3500 sitch points.
Truck with no heat, 500 sitch points.
I guess the pattern here is I have assigned a monetary value to all my sitches. Damn, that means if I had a shit load of cash, I would have no sitch points. But as it stands, I claim a total of 7500 sitch points for the year 2007. Wow not bad. That puts me in second place, with Pollo eeking out another win, unless someone else chimes in soon to collect more. Ooow, but Pollo won't be at the upper red lake sitch award ceremony. I guess that makes his title all the more appropriate.
I claim an extra 1500 just because i'm just as sitched as iceman, and i want to be tied for second place. do i get a t-shirt or just a new mcpussy pad?
Cuz ed, give yourself another 115 sitch points for still owing 115 bucks to your fantasy football commissioner. But those points are technically 2008 points, so I guess we're still tied for second.
What kind of t-shirt would you like? Pollo has reported that one of his friends has a shirt that says kore on the back. Kore is gurani for vagina/pussy. So a shirt that says pussy and a McPussy pad are both possiblities. I don't know if I could fit a McPussy mop in my bag.
Sounds like 2008 points are already piling up. My next opportunity for points will most likely be travel sitch points and believe me I have racked up a few of those in the past. Lets call em TSA sitch points.
Yeah Oso, make sure you go through security check before leaving your house next time you travel, wait, every time you travel by air.
Oh yeah and Ed, that's 121 sitch points upon recalculation.
shit man, you just keep getting better at math icey. yeah, i ran out of checks and money almost at the same time. rack up another 200 sitch points cause those fuckers at the bank charged me $20.42 for new checks and then another $35 for the overdraft. hot damn, what does that add up to iceman?
i expect to be right with the league on the 15th of Jan.
as to t-shirts and pussy pad, i like earth tones and my size is large (huge bulging biceps and the pecks of Samson pre-haircut, mojo risin').
after i go fishing with you on the red lake oso do i get a lake erie marlin club shirt? supposing pollo's got three or four.
enjoy the guay dudes, avoid the sitchyness of jail and military juntas, i hear there are a lot of moonies out in the chimichonga, right next to the Bush tweens palace of sadist delights.
pollo, check out THE CROSSING by Cormac McCarthy or any other of his - steinification.
Cuz ed, you're always funny at night.
thinking I may switch a stitch to quail
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